J. Jupes writes pulp and dystopian novels and likes having a cover image in front of him before even thinking about the first word. He assembles books from notes written on the back of Mars Bar wrappers. Raised by a severe English playwright, Jupes can't stomach convention. His father made outlines. He doesn't. Jupes likes a sentence that smokes unfiltered cigarettes and flicks the butts into filthy puddles just to hear them hiss.
"I type real fast with two fingers," he says, "like a two beaked woodpecker. I use a typewriter because I like pounding the keys and shoving the carriage over at the end of a line then ripping out the page and slapping it down on the Done Pile. I never went to writing school but I've been to the corner of Life and Anxiety and bought a pretzel. I have very few qualities people can relate to. I stays indoors and every night fall asleep in front of my little TV, waking myself snoring at about one or two, claw my way along the floor into bed and sleep on my bare mattress. I might pee a little bit in my sleep. I like waking up early to sit at the typewriter and warm my hands on a cup of Sanka. When the sun comes up, I make himself toast with butter and English marmalade and get depressed looking at my empty plate with the crumbs on it, like the world is nothing but toast and marmalade and crumbs. That’s when I’ll open the fridge and have a look see. I usually end up closing the door without taking anything out but might come back later and open the door again, or might not. And the J stands for Johnny."
Jupes also likes , as the English say, taking the piss.
